Thursday, May 16, 2013


I guess the first thing I should do is to tell a little bit about myself.

I was born into a frum family, and grew up in the regular yeshiva system.  Today I'm in my 30s, married with children, and I guess you can call me an "undercover" skeptic, or orthoprax, אנוס. or one of the other names which are floating around these days.

One of the things I set out to do in this blog is to share the story of how I got from point A to point B.

What's driven me to start blogging?  Most of all, it's a sense of loneliness.  I consider myself a very sensitive person.  Over the past few years I have gotten to know a few chevra who are or who have been in my situation.  But a Facebook chat here and there, or meeting up once in a blue moon hasn't helped me to break out of this feeling of being alone in this situation of mine.

I hope by sharing my story, I might find other people who share my feelings or who can appreciate them.

I invite my readers to post comments.  I don't think that I'll have time to reply to each one, but I will certainly enjoy reading them.

I don't know where to begin my story from.

Frum people who I've spoken to about Emunah and Kefira very often try to steer away the conversation away from intellectual arguments, towards discussions to whether or not I was happy at the time I started doubting, or if I felt pressured by Yiddishkeit.  Of course, it's impossible to have any serious discussion once those doors are open.

Therefore, I'm afraid that if I discuss my childhood, there might be a frummie who will start looking for that candy I ate without a hechsher, or that Rebbe in cheder who mistreated me.

But then, you might ask, who cares?  The world is full of people who don't care to understand another human being.  Just say your story, and whoever is ready to put aside his preconceptions and biases will hear you out.  Whoever doesn't you don't want to be their friend anyways ;)

So let's start.  I think that it's best if I don't follow a chronological order, just to write as it comes.

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